SPF 30 my ass!

It's summer 1976. The USA proudly celebrates its 200th birthday, the sacrifices made to form our democracy. But I'm 14 and clueless - I have one thing on my mind. Getting a good tan. Oh sure, it may look like we're just laying around reading magazines. But let me tell you it is WORK, with skeels required. I even took jobs based on how I could improve my tan.... detassling, walking beans, lawn mowing.

My aunt Janie and my friend Sheryl's mom were my mentors. They had raised the bar in tanning with their time commitment and creative tools and processes. My aunt was known to stop time itself for her tanning regimen. Sheryl's mom perfected the foil lined refrigerator box.

Top 10 competencies for a good tanner circa 1976 include:
1. knowing to use only Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil
2. knowing when/how to turn the chair/towel towards the best sun angle
3. knowing when to turn over, a good tanner knows both sides need coverage
4. knowing the best magazines to read (if you are by yourself, you can indulge in Seventeen. which is really your favorite, but if you're in public you'd better be seen reading Glamour or Cosmo.
5. keeping the towel on the chair when you get up or sit down or keep the chair from collapsing.
6. how to unsnap and resnap your bikini top while laying (lying?) on your tummy
7. how to adjust the antena on your transitor radio for the best reception on the AM stations
8. how to free your mind for hours for endless hours of appearing to do nothing
9. if at the pool, how to maneuver slipping into the pool to cool off during adult swim, when all the pesky kids are at the snack bar
10. Never, ever, wear a hat.

Today, I felt 14 again. Launching the new lounger, laying in the sun, listening to, appropriately, songs from summer in the 70's. Lots of new job aids have been created since 1976; hair clips, bottled water, cd players with radios, US magazine, and something called SPF. Searching through the house for lotion, I found SPF30 and SPF 8. I'm older, more mature, with aging skin - so of course I should opt for the SPF 30. NOT! For this one, priceless, perfect Friday afternoon, I'm a renegade, and I shout "SPF 30 my ass!" It was glorious. Carry on my wayward SUN!